A holiday, I told myself. And I did have a good time, getting a tour of D’s childhood neighborhood, a picnic in Riverside Park, a stroll through a street fair on Broadway, a walk around Chelsea—we walk a lot, D and I—topped off with a sushi dinner—we eat a lot too—before grabbing the bus back to Philly. It was worth it.
Monday I was back with the program, writing 700 words of biography plans. But nothing on Tuesday, and, because I didn’t write it down, I don't remember why. But I do remember a feeling of drudgery setting in, a sense of nothing worth writing. Had my day off Sunday been a dangerous interruption in the pattern I was trying to establish? Was this writing program going to end in a fiasco, as others had in the past?
I pulled myself together, recollecting that the point was to write something, anything. Just write. It worked. On Wednesday and Thursday I wrote journal entries of 750 and 1220 words each. On Friday and Saturday, inspiration still flagging, I was reduced to writing several lengthy emails I’d been putting off, 800 and 650 words each.
Nothing much, but I was writing. One thing I noticed was that I still felt my power drain and a concomitant urge to stop at around 500 words. I once had a regime of long, early-morning bicycle rides. Just as with writing, I’d start out strong, but feel resistance around the five-mile mark and want to quit. Once I pushed past that point, however, my muscles loosened up. I got into the rhythm of the ride and rode effortlessly for many miles more. So with writing. Once I wrote 600 words or so, the ideas seemed to come more quickly and the words to flow with ease.
I’d gotten myself back on track. I was writing, though I wasn’t writing publishable stuff.
Glad you are back on track. Keep pedaling!
ReplyDeleteI've been writing journal entry bits and pieces, e-mails, and yesterday, a personal essay of sorts for my blog- if I count those, I have been writing. They do help us to keep in that "writerly" mode of thinking, in touch with our own voice. Unless I'm seriously writing fiction, though, I don't feel like I've actually been writing- I guess because of the structure fiction writing imposes, even though, for me, the structure is internally generated. Good luck with your plan. I'm interested to read what happened next, and how your biography is coming along.
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